I don’t know what it is, but I cannot put my identity into words that will reach the people who know me personally (or as personally as Facebook allows), but when it comes to telling anonymous strangers on the internet that I’m not cisgender or straight is easier. It’s easier to let the words come out (pun intended) when the audience is basically wearing paper bags over their faces.
Maybe I’ll get the courage one day to put the words “I am an agender/transgender person who uses they/them pronouns” out there on Facebook where people I interact with will see it.
But part of me doesn’t want to have to come out. I should be able to be comfortable as myself without having to explain it to anyone. I understand that for some people it’s a big deal and I will always respect their choices to come out, but it’s not for me. I want people to look at me when I’m dating someone of any gender and think “they both look really happy together” instead of “I wonder if that’s two women, two men or a man and a woman…”.
One day I’ll bring myself to be able to introduce the way that I dream of at times. “Hi. My name is Jess (or Ryan) and I use they/them pronouns”.