Coming Out is Hard to Do and Not Important to Me

I don’t know what it is, but I cannot put my identity into words that will reach the people who know me personally (or as personally as Facebook allows), but when it comes to telling anonymous strangers on the internet that I’m not cisgender or straight is easier. It’s easier to let the words come out (pun intended) when the audience is basically wearing paper bags over their faces.

Maybe I’ll get the courage one day to put the words “I am an agender/transgender person who uses they/them pronouns” out there on Facebook where people I interact with will see it.

But part of me doesn’t want to have to come out. I should be able to be comfortable as myself without having to explain it to anyone. I understand that for some people it’s a big deal and I will always respect their choices to come out, but it’s not for me. I want people to look at me when I’m dating someone of any gender and think “they both look really happy together” instead of “I wonder if that’s two women, two men or a man and a woman…”.

One day I’ll bring myself to be able to introduce the way that I dream of at times. “Hi. My name is Jess (or Ryan) and I use they/them pronouns”.


Random Musings: Harry Potter

This summer, in honor of graduating college and not having as many breakdowns as I thought I would, I have promised myself that I would reread the entirety of the Harry Potter series.

And man oh man, I’ve fallen back into the hole.

Back when I was a wee little one in middle school, all I ever wanted was to go to Hogwarts just for a day. I wanted adventures and to do magic and brew potions with Harry, Ron and Hermione. I wanted to cheer on my houses’ Quidditch team (Hufflepuff) with everyone else, I wanted to spend afternoons by the lake lazily reading or levitating things. And as a recent college grad, I want to do it all over again.

And part of me misses that magic. I’m 22 now (11 years too late for my letter) and I haven’t been as attached to something as much as I have been attached to Harry and his friends. I met my old roommate and best friend through Harry Potter, I was given a nickname that I still cherish to this day and this series about the Boy Who Lived made me want to write. Yes, I have written Harry Potter fanfiction and no you can’t read it.

I’m trying to grasp at the magic that I felt back when I was a kid. It’s hard sometimes because I know what lies in wait for Harry and his friends. I almost miss the mystery and waiting for midnight launches.

But it feels good to return to Hogwarts.

“Keep Moving Forward” and the Creative Spirit

In February of this year, the company Rooster Teeth, known for Red vs Blue, RWBY, among other things, lost an important member of their family. Monty Oum was the creator of RWBY and worked on so many things at one time that people would see him sleeping at the office. I’ve never met him, but his drive to continue creating new things and playing around with different ideas always speaks to me.

Why am I mentioning him today of all days? Because today is Monty Oum’s birthday and I wanted to just talk about the creative sprit and the phrase “keep moving forward”.

I have a creative spirit inside of me who just wants to get out and reach the world. I want to touch a young artist with my work and have them be motivated to do the same. But I’ve always been in a rut because I don’t know what I want and that stops me most of the time; I’ll sit and stare at my screen or my journal and just want to write something but nothing comes out.

However, today I am letting myself just write (which is the purpose of this post). Because if I just let my fingers to the work without thinking, something has to come from it. It’s like putting a bunch of monkeys in a room with typewriters, one of them will eventually come up with some form of poetry.

Monty believed that the only thing that keeps us from doing all the things we want to do is time. The lack of time as well as how we manage our time. We don’t have a lot of moments on this earth and what we do have, we spend worrying about money and other things (which are still important) that we never get to sit down and draw, paint, write, animate, sing and we cause that creative side of ourselves to hide away. If anything, to honor this man, I want to spend today creating. I want to create things because I’ve been inspired by a man who I have never met and I want to keep moving forward.

To keep moving forward, however, I need to understand that moving forward is not always bad. I’ve moved forward with my life, I’ve graduated college, I have my mom and my friends.

The phrase and reminder is so important to me that I put it on my graduation cap and I want it on my body forever. Because it’s always good to remember that fact.

No one looks good in graduation robes. No one.
No one looks good in graduation robes. No one.

I’m a ghoooossst.

After falling off the fact of the earth for god knows how long (almost three months), I have returned with so much news that it’s not even funny.

First of all, the biggest thing that everyone is talking about; Caitlyn Jenner.

I’m going to copy what many other people have been saying and say that yes she does look fantastic. But even if she didn’t, it’d still be great. Because we so readily live in a world where people still hate transgender women. And I mean hate them so much that they murder them. We all know about how some bigots out there want to strip Caitlyn of her gold medals (by the way: the IOC will NOT take her medals from her) to the whole fiasco with her being awarded the Courage Award and not deserving it, to which ESPN responded.  I guess transphobes will still do anything to discredit and destroy transgender women.

I mainly wanted to focus on Caitlyn Jenner and applaud her for being so brave for coming out and dealing with all the transphobic people out there with such grace and magnificence, but I want to update people who still read my blog.

First off, I’m sorry I left/disappeared. I’m a flake; I lose interest in things rather quickly and in the 3 months I haven’t been doing this, I’ve dabbled in so many other things it’s ridiculous. Secondly, I may move away from pure LGBTQIA news and focus on things that interest me (such as YouTubers, writing, video games, music, and other exciting things). There will still be a lot of news about the LGBTQIA community, however I do wish to broaden my scope of focus.  (Did anyone see the Fallout 4 trailer? It looks great. I cried. Someone buy me an Xbox One when the game comes out.)

I may use this for my writing and coming up with character ideas for my various Fallout play throughs as well as dumb things I write.

I hope we can still be friends.

LGBT Characters in Video Games

There are quite a few characters within different video games who fall under the LGBT umbrella. The Wikipedia page shows characters from different time periods starting from the 1980’s all the way to the 2010’s and even beyond.

Some of the instances could be considered homophobic/transphobic, but as time goes on, things seem to get better when it comes to using descriptions of these characters.
Some notible LBGT characters are:

  • Birdo from Super Mario 2  (Transgender)
  • Kanji Tatsumi from Persona 4 (hinted at Bisexual)
  • Erica from Catherine (Transwoman)
  • Cremisius “Krem” Aclassi from Dragon Age: Inquisition (Transgender)
  • Poison from Final Fight (Transwoman)
  • Vamp from Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty (Bisexual)
  • Volgin and Major Raikov from Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater (Bisexual)

As time goes on, we may be able to see more LGBT characters in the media, especially in video games and we will not have to think about whether or not these characters are or are not LGBT.

Permission Has Been Granted!

I have gotten the blessing and permission from Rebecca Kling to record parts of her Trans 101 discussion for this blog and I will be bringing that to you next Tuesday!

She has already given such a discussion last year at North Central and we are really excited to have her return this year. She gives amazing discussions and never makes someone feel awkward for asking a question.

If you’re able to come out to Smith Hall on Tuesday March 10th at 7:30, please do because it is going to be an amazing and educational experience!